Hi there everyone. last night I was surfing on the internet and came accross this website. i aint no hippy or anything but what i saw made a lasting impression. im curious to see what everyone has to say about this. please click on the link below and veiw all 3 movies. if you have time please leave a comment in my blog.  thanks for your time.

 

A broken heart is terrible.. apparently only time can mend.

I looked around myself blaming problems on other people.

i look deep inside, i realize i was the only one to blame, i was the one who was too blind to help me freinds when they were in need.

i think you all know who you are. i appologize.

all i can ask is that you look down in your hearts.. dont forgive me for my past sins. give me another chance.

i wont let the bile of seduction cloud my mind, fore my truthful feelings lie within my freinds.

i now  realize what is wrong in this world.

i have a countdown, then all hell will once again break loose.

i promise.

watch out.

Mistakes are made, promises are broken

recoverys a long and painful proccess endured by most

only once has its icy clutch torn my soul from the flesh, blood and bone know as a body

toying with the mind, questions , what if?

deep within the caverns of hate, misery and sadness the truth is stored

after time passes will you be able to find the answers

searching desperately for a gleam of hope, insomnia sets in

fear grasps the mind, tears are the only release

but fear has not ingulfed me, hatred has passed quickly

dreaming of dreams to come, i realize

epiphany, all at once i realize

it just wasnt meant to be

i wish u the best

death is honorable.

 

YO! well anyway... sHAUNO CAME! it was short lived, but it was awesome to see him again... shit we got so drunk... i think i lost my wallet in the bar... >_<  well, after a long week, the wekend passed quickly (shorter time till i see someone :D ) anyway, i jus thought id leave some words. lol LATEz

well, tonight was really fun. i enjoyed myself, had a blast. i went out to the nelson heights gym with john and played volley ball with the old men and women. it was sweet, got to see some old faces, and a few new ones. Seemed like the cougars couldnt keep their hands off me... one even slapped my butt.. >_< i also saw carley there, she looked nice, but all she did was sit out till the last 10 mins... it was kinda funny, me n john laughed everytime she messed up. i also learned a few new things about amy today which im glad i found out about, but also at the same time understanding of her pain. i wish people did not have to endure the pain and hardships of a nieve childish indavidual. well anyway, i need to work tommarow morning, so im off to bed. Carley Gl with devon, hes a cool kid, which after some hard times is finally back on the right path. i wish the best for both of you, as for amy...... you'r HOT! :D nighty night.

i sat up till 1:52 this evening listening to the "girl of my dreams" tell me how increadibly horrible i was, but, i know now for a fact that every night she thinks of me. i moved on so quickly, but shes trapped in the past.. i feel sorry for her, she told me how she acctually wanted me back.. i know she still cares for me, but never will it happen. iv had to endure horrible torture before, im lucky i was able to handle it so easily. as she cuts me down, telling me how horrible i am, i realize how lost she truely is. iv grown up since grade 10, im a stronger person. this is her first real break up. i can only hope for the best for her. i hope she doesnt go into a deep depression as i did after my first love. the pain is unbearable.

with the events of tonight i found out that i have a freind. plus great feelings i never realized before... 

i was out at johnny boys house last night( joe jus got home to) well, anyway,john joe cody and i sat there drinking, mainly me. i told them about the events that have recently transpired lately, and im not all that happy with females, seems like everything i do i jus get accused of somthing else, i talk to carley once in a while, all she does is keep cuttin at me, kinda sad... but w/e i dont even understand why im considered "horribly in the wrong" i mean i didnt fuck around.... did i? im sure in my position any other guy would have done just about the same... but wait... how many people laugh about a year and 1/2 relationship.... maybe there is somthing horribly wrong with me..... i guess only time will tell. i figure to take each day 1 at a time, shit happens, it happens. i only have a few reasons to get up each morning.. but i guess that beats many people already. i fuckin hate this place, i jus wish i knew my place in this world... hopefully in the next couple weeks things will look up a lil more (fun wize, anyway). Rambling fun....

Yeh, finally i got my INTERNET back, only took about a month.. >_< anyway, yeh..... so i guess ill be online a lil bit more then iv been lately...

In the last few monthes its been pretty crappy for me honestly... but after this weekend i am finally feeling alot better about myself, for starters i "met" a new freind ,was part of a wicked game of spoons, and got really F'in drunk. plus i got a job workin at a gas station (self serve) for 9.09 an hour >_<   im happy. for now.

 

ps.   my comp is F'ed till thursday.

Rage & Self control

           

Within this shroud I walk, enduring the sound of bliss

Emotions welled up inside, Fore I could make a list,

Intoxication breathing on the back of my neck,

Democratic beings telling me to take a rest

Just to hear their voices angers me to the point I may explode,

Moral consciousness now failing,

A test which must be learned

 

Now my pupils dilate, taking in the light

I will not run away, no excuses here for tonight,

Outside the flashing lights and smoke I can once again see clear,

I have now withdrew my presence and backup in not close near,

I purpose a notion, to once again make things right,

On the inside he thinks I’m scared, but only I know this is not the truth

He may have two beside him, superior in strength

But deep down inside myself, the fear does not overtake,

Soon my emotions start to take control, rational thought has been exiled from this world,

He cant withstand the metal beating, and walks away in sorrow

 

My victory is now clear, explosions of emotion

Begin to disappear,

My victory is evident, once the dust has cleared

I look around myself, and I’m the only one now standing here.

 

 

 

 

an old one i jus found

Cold lake is a town in which people have 2 things keep them occupied, Drinking and sex.  After about a week of suspicion i finally caught my girl freind cheating on me. of coarse it hurts, but the worste part is the fact the she continues to lie to me. Because of the lies, my respect has gone from Love, to the point that everytime i think of her i wish to vomit. i look at this occasion as the start of a fresh existance, i can now go where i please, and stay there as long as i wish. i will soon be joining the military, and shortly i will acheive my life goals. acheive my life goals by the time im 25? i find that amazing. i turn 19 in about 2 weeks now. im going to work my hardest, and one day down the road when shes still leaching off her parents i will laugh. i feel there is absolutely no room in this world for a liar, the dirt on this earth is ranked higher on my list. i would now like to share a song with everyone, a great song by a great band.

 

 

HappY BreAk Up SonG - NOFX

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

its now just about 1 in the morning... i work in 5 hours.. anyway... i just cant seem to get to sleep, guess thats why im on here.. i got so much shit goin through my mind right now, plus i woke up at 1 this afternoon so i guess that doesnt help.. god i hate ... nvm

anyway, im gonna head off to bed, make an other attempt at falling asleep... GAH

I HATE FUCKING MOTHS!!! they piss me off so much... i have 2 flying around the lamp beside me... and its buggin (pun  >_<) the shit outta me..... anyone else hate them?

 

you know, i was thinking about that poem i wrote the other day. if i had of wrote that poem for a teacher, it would have a big fat F on it, and she would tell me, I dont need to hear about your problems... yet you guys acctually appreciated it. i was very suprised. anyway, if you want to hear some great poets, listen to the lyrics by NOFX, they are awesome, some of their new shit is very... anti-bush, but this old stuff is awesome.

anyway, ill try another one